“How many mental health problems, from drug addiction to self-injurious behavior, start as attempts to cope with the unbearable physical pain of our emotions?"
― Bessel A Van der Kolk, The Body Keeps Score
At the age of 11 or 12, I determined that my body was a gross, lumpy, fat, unlovable blob. It was too painful to deal with the actual feelings of abandonment, fear, grief, and the trauma of physical and emotional violence in my family or origin, so it became easier to just forget that my body existed. Drugs, booze, self-harm, food, sex, etc. became the tools to keep me at a safe distance from my body. Until they eventually stopped working.
The downside of cutting myself off from my body was that yes, I wasn’t experiencing that deep aching pain, but I also wasn’t experiencing anything else. There was no space for joy, surprise, love, forgiveness, patience, trust, acceptance, sweetness, or hope.
Numb was becoming the norm. I was alive by medical standards, but really I was barely living. I had to come home to my body. Yoga was that pathway home.
Nikki Meyers, founder of the fabulous Yoga of 12-Step Recovery movement (and a favorite teacher and role model of mine), describes the "characteristics and effects of addiction as separation and disconnection. Addictive behaviors disconnect us from ourselves, our loved ones," our dreams for the future, and our greatest intentions.
Yoga, on the other hand, literally means union or connection. The practice of yoga assists us in building the capacity to stay present with our experience, which is quite the opposite of the addictive or compulsive cycle of running from pain.
Unlike the Exercise regime taught in most modern yoga studios, Yoga Therapy can be best described as “INNERCISE.” According to Yoga Therapist Michael Lee, "Yoga therapy is a holistic healing art. Rather than prescribe treatments, it invites presence and awareness. Using age-old yogic approaches to deeper presence and awareness, we are able to know ourselves more fully. Out of that knowing, we are more easily moved to embrace the opportunity for change, growth, and enhanced well-being in body, feelings, thought, and spirit."
Through cultivating and developing presence and awareness, we develop resiliency, ease, and stability in the body and mind. This allows us to recover well and live the full, brilliant, satisfying life we've always dreamed!